lunedì 8 ottobre 2007

Perchè l'Octoberfest è uno STATO MENTALE!

>La vera essenza dell'Oktoberfest
Tutti vi starete chiedendo com'è l'October Fest? (o forse no, comunque provo a spiegarvelo con poche parole...). Innanzitutto l'October Fest NON E'! O meglio, l'Oktober Fest è uno STATO MENTALE! E solo in pochi abbiamo avuto l'onore di incontrare l'Oktoberfest in carne ed ossa... sto parlando di "De Eo", un simpatico (?!) essere vivente (assai meno evoluto dell'uomo) che brindava, parlava e cantava in tutte le lingue del mondo semplicemente rispondendo:"EEEEEEEEEHHHH!!!" a tutti, anche quando non interpellato; e poi brindava di nuovo alla sua non-provenienza, alla sua omosesualità, alla sua inconsapevolezza di esistere, etc...

>Tu chiamale, se vuoi, emozioni!

Veniamo ora ai sentimenti umani... Sotto questo punto di vista l'Oktoberfest è una gran ficata! Ci si diverte un casino, si conoscono genti nuove, italiane e non, ci si diverte da matti, si giocano le giostre... Infatti più che la festa della birra l'Oktoberfest (oltre ad essere uno stato mentale incarnato perfettamente da De Eo) è un grosso lunapark con prezzi esorbitanti e giochi fatti apposta per rivoltarti lo stomaco e provocarti un forte senso di nausea, difficilmente raggiungibile con la birra, dato che è quasi introvabile! Noi abbiamo bevuto solo grazie a dei nostri connazionali torinesi che, per campanilismo o per supplire all'istinto di solidarietà, ci hanno permesso di accomodarci al loro tavolo all'esterno di un capannone, dove l'efficentissimo Tony ci ha portato il nostro litro di birra cadauno in 3 nanosecondi!... tot. 9 Euri... I prezzi sono un po' altini...
Ho citato dei capannoni: grossi capannoni allestiti dalle varie compagnie produttrici di birra, dove però non si poteva entrare perchè era tutto prenotato: là dentro ballavano sui tavoli, cantavano sui tavoli, si divertivano sui tavoli. Attenti a non far vedere i boccali che vi portate via, perchè la security ve li confisca e li butta via... Se vi chiamate Limp non avete speranza: vi sgamano preventivamente, anche se la birra ancora non l'avete neanche assaggiata!!!
Comunque la birra all'Oktoberfest è anche nell'aria, quindi avrete bisogno di urinare in continuazione. Le latrine (per lo meno quelle degli uomini sono eccezionali) ci sono apposta: c'è uno stanzone con varie stanzette interne senza porte e lungo tutta la parete vi è una specie di gronda a metà altezza, senza divisori, dove dovete fare minzione: anche un ubriaco riesce a fare centro senza spisciare tutto! C'è pure chi ci vomita, quindi a sera i tombini sono otturati e il contenuto della vescica di centinaia di persone si è riversato fuori dai vespasiani, non all'interno dei prefabbricati, ma tutt'intorno, venendosi a creare veri e propri fiumi di piscia, dove gli ubriachi persi si sedevano e i tedeschi ci camminavano con i sandali! Che zuzzi 'sti germanici di Tedeschia! Zozzi e per di più non capiscono manco l'inglese. Invece le tedesche di lingue se ne intendono!!! E poi sono tettone bionde e veramente gnocche (sarà l'effetto della birra?). Per di più so' pure certi mignottoni (tanto per usare un francesismo)! Forse è per questo che camminano tutte a gambe larghe...
Torniamo ai cessi... passate nei cessi degli autogrill in austria perchè sò' belli, puliti e ce canta li celli! Altro punto positivo dell'Oktoberfest oltre alle troie (... pardon, volevo dire: altre alle tedesche!); Tra le varie bancarelle potete comprare paninozzi con mega-wurstel, crauti e salse che so' veramente boni! (ve lo dico io che i wurstel non me piace!). Appena possibile ve allego la foto!

Per quanto riguarda foto, video e registrazioni dell'Oktoberfest, pubblicherò anche quelle appena potrò!

Per ora è tutto perchè:"Quando noi passeggiamo siamo molto felici, perchè ci divertiamo a raccogliere i rami".

"EEEEEEEEEHHHH!"

23 commenti:

Limp ha detto...

Grazie di avermi citato!! Guarda, non faccio commenti riguardo ai bicchieri!!

Cmq alla fine la mattina a brindare me la sono spassata alla grande!!Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeh...però un altri po' de litri de birra me li volevo fà!! (ancora pregusto nella mia mente quel bicchiere da 1 litro di HB che mi hanno tolto sotto il naso!!)
La prox volta se proprio ci ritorniamo (ne dubito) dobbiamo prenotare!!

Ciao

Raffaello ha detto...

Ciao!
Quest'anno venite all'Oktoberfest 2008 con i BIRRAMANIACI di OKTOBERFESTMANIA?
Ci sono varie gite che fermano in molte città!

www.oktoberfest2008.it
www.oktoberfestmania.com

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