lunedì 8 ottobre 2007

Perchè l'Octoberfest è uno STATO MENTALE!

>La vera essenza dell'Oktoberfest
Tutti vi starete chiedendo com'è l'October Fest? (o forse no, comunque provo a spiegarvelo con poche parole...). Innanzitutto l'October Fest NON E'! O meglio, l'Oktober Fest è uno STATO MENTALE! E solo in pochi abbiamo avuto l'onore di incontrare l'Oktoberfest in carne ed ossa... sto parlando di "De Eo", un simpatico (?!) essere vivente (assai meno evoluto dell'uomo) che brindava, parlava e cantava in tutte le lingue del mondo semplicemente rispondendo:"EEEEEEEEEHHHH!!!" a tutti, anche quando non interpellato; e poi brindava di nuovo alla sua non-provenienza, alla sua omosesualità, alla sua inconsapevolezza di esistere, etc...

>Tu chiamale, se vuoi, emozioni!

Veniamo ora ai sentimenti umani... Sotto questo punto di vista l'Oktoberfest è una gran ficata! Ci si diverte un casino, si conoscono genti nuove, italiane e non, ci si diverte da matti, si giocano le giostre... Infatti più che la festa della birra l'Oktoberfest (oltre ad essere uno stato mentale incarnato perfettamente da De Eo) è un grosso lunapark con prezzi esorbitanti e giochi fatti apposta per rivoltarti lo stomaco e provocarti un forte senso di nausea, difficilmente raggiungibile con la birra, dato che è quasi introvabile! Noi abbiamo bevuto solo grazie a dei nostri connazionali torinesi che, per campanilismo o per supplire all'istinto di solidarietà, ci hanno permesso di accomodarci al loro tavolo all'esterno di un capannone, dove l'efficentissimo Tony ci ha portato il nostro litro di birra cadauno in 3 nanosecondi!... tot. 9 Euri... I prezzi sono un po' altini...
Ho citato dei capannoni: grossi capannoni allestiti dalle varie compagnie produttrici di birra, dove però non si poteva entrare perchè era tutto prenotato: là dentro ballavano sui tavoli, cantavano sui tavoli, si divertivano sui tavoli. Attenti a non far vedere i boccali che vi portate via, perchè la security ve li confisca e li butta via... Se vi chiamate Limp non avete speranza: vi sgamano preventivamente, anche se la birra ancora non l'avete neanche assaggiata!!!
Comunque la birra all'Oktoberfest è anche nell'aria, quindi avrete bisogno di urinare in continuazione. Le latrine (per lo meno quelle degli uomini sono eccezionali) ci sono apposta: c'è uno stanzone con varie stanzette interne senza porte e lungo tutta la parete vi è una specie di gronda a metà altezza, senza divisori, dove dovete fare minzione: anche un ubriaco riesce a fare centro senza spisciare tutto! C'è pure chi ci vomita, quindi a sera i tombini sono otturati e il contenuto della vescica di centinaia di persone si è riversato fuori dai vespasiani, non all'interno dei prefabbricati, ma tutt'intorno, venendosi a creare veri e propri fiumi di piscia, dove gli ubriachi persi si sedevano e i tedeschi ci camminavano con i sandali! Che zuzzi 'sti germanici di Tedeschia! Zozzi e per di più non capiscono manco l'inglese. Invece le tedesche di lingue se ne intendono!!! E poi sono tettone bionde e veramente gnocche (sarà l'effetto della birra?). Per di più so' pure certi mignottoni (tanto per usare un francesismo)! Forse è per questo che camminano tutte a gambe larghe...
Torniamo ai cessi... passate nei cessi degli autogrill in austria perchè sò' belli, puliti e ce canta li celli! Altro punto positivo dell'Oktoberfest oltre alle troie (... pardon, volevo dire: altre alle tedesche!); Tra le varie bancarelle potete comprare paninozzi con mega-wurstel, crauti e salse che so' veramente boni! (ve lo dico io che i wurstel non me piace!). Appena possibile ve allego la foto!

Per quanto riguarda foto, video e registrazioni dell'Oktoberfest, pubblicherò anche quelle appena potrò!

Per ora è tutto perchè:"Quando noi passeggiamo siamo molto felici, perchè ci divertiamo a raccogliere i rami".

"EEEEEEEEEHHHH!"

22 commenti:

Limp ha detto...

Grazie di avermi citato!! Guarda, non faccio commenti riguardo ai bicchieri!!

Cmq alla fine la mattina a brindare me la sono spassata alla grande!!Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeh...però un altri po' de litri de birra me li volevo fà!! (ancora pregusto nella mia mente quel bicchiere da 1 litro di HB che mi hanno tolto sotto il naso!!)
La prox volta se proprio ci ritorniamo (ne dubito) dobbiamo prenotare!!

Ciao

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